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 Does the pain go away
 
 1/11/2011 10:23:12 AM
NFarrell
9 posts


Does the pain go away

Hi guys,

 

I'm new to this forum. I am just wondering if anyone can give me any tips on how they deal with the news of a new baby. I am finding ot so hard to deal with everyone telling me they are going to have a baby. I end up spending a couple of days in bed crying over it every time. My husband has 5 sisters and 5 brothers and they just reproduce like rabiits. I feel so hard done by. I am not dealing with it at all and I don't want to destroy my marriage. We are only married since September. Has anybody any tips, I really am desperate.

Thanks

 1/11/2011 8:50:53 PM
A&C
99 posts


Re: Does the pain go away

Hi

I can't offer you any tips but give the supportline a call. 1890 647 444 between 7.15 to 9 pm. My heart goes out to you.Especially when there are so many around you having children.Feels like every were you look their is a baby or someone else has announce their great news.  I remember them feelings.  Just remember take each day at a time. Not sure what area you are in but have you tried counselling?? might help you to talk to some one neutral.

Take care Cats

 1/11/2011 9:46:07 PM
Caitriona
93 posts


Re: Does the pain go away
That is so, so hard. And when you're having to deal with it over and over ... it's so tough. Of course it is great for everyone else that they're able to have all the children they want but it is incredibly difficult to be the one left behind. I agree with Cats that meeting other people who are in a similar situation to you can be a huge help. It made the world of difference to me - especially when I heard other people voicing the thoughts I had been having and that had worried me. I thought I was cracking up.

I also found the book 'Conquering Infertility' by Alice Domar to be very helpful with actual practical tips on how to cope with pregnancy/baby announcements. It gives a range of coping mechanisms, some of which might help you. This lady does a lot of work and research with couples who are suffering infertility re the levels of depression caused by this situaion. Maybe you'd find something useful here also. You can get hold of it easily enough on amazon or play.
 1/11/2011 10:36:25 PM
David
15 posts


Re: Does the pain go away
Hearing that your loved ones ahve concieved should be a very happy time for all concerned but the profound sense of grief that goes with hearing of another impending arrival is something that is difficult to cope with. In the NISIG newsletter that was published just before Christmas there was an excellent piece on dealing with these emotions and tips on how to cope as the lead in to Christmas can be especially painful for those without children. If you contact the office they may have a few copies that they could post one out to you. You are not alone. Be nice to yourself.
David
 1/19/2011 8:21:30 AM
NFarrell
9 posts


Re: Does the pain go away

Another week, another pregnancy!

This time it's my brother-in-law, 18yrs old, unwanted, one night stand, that's the exact words I was told. Oh and to make things worse, his 20 yr old sister announced that she is sick of being pregnant, just wants it over so she can get drunk! If it wasn't happening to me, I think I'd find it funny.

I get this sick feeling in my tummy and feel like my heart is actually breaking everytime they open their mouths. My best friend is pregnant too. I feel like I'm locked in a world where all that exists are babies and pregnant women.

 

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